I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
