Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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