maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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