Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
