How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
