i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
