You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
