the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so let's talk penis.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
