I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
