people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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