Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
ttyl tear gas
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
