so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Congratulations! We have a period
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
