i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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