once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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