Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
