absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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