You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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