pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
