My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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