i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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