i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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