her vagine was all disorganized.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
