You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
