He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
