im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
