Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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