i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
