I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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