I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
