You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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