God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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