I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You're like the curious george of whores
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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