Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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