I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
