i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
