Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
