I heard we made out
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
