My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
