hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
