I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
