Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
