it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
