yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
