She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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