But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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