Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
