how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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