Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have fence marks all over my body
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
