I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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