He kissed a someone with a penis
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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