I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
